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    March 04

    人生有很多看似重要的日子都是在静静中渡过的

        很多人都说,在那一年的那一天她们都在伤心和绝望中渡过,因为这个日子意味着一个属于自己的特殊的时代从此一去不复返。张越曾经谈起那天晚上自己一个人在家伤心的喝着红酒,以为从此人生会有很大的不同,然而第二天发现和以前没什么变化,日子照常过,这样心情才释然。去年有个姐妹突然在某天要请身边的好友聚会,我们都不知道怎么回事,在不知情下也因为其他事情没有参加,后来才知道原因,心中有些愧疚。我知道自己大限将到,所以不愿提及。或许是在这种心理的暗示吧,或许是最近事情太多,竟然真的丝毫没入脑。因为工作上的事情心情不爽,一气之下上网要查查老黄历,想看看是否有“今日不宜”之类的东西,这才发现原来是昨天。可是已经过去一大半了。虽然老公亲几日还提起,可是关键时候还是没想起来,可是还是不伤心为什么没有人记着。我为什么不难受呢,大家都觉得这么重要的日子我为什么不难受呢,想不通自己……晚上去了以前经常去吃饭的地方吃了怀旧晚餐,谈起了以前的很多趣事,怀念了年轻时的一些时期,最安慰的是他说自己觉得没娶错人。这算是最大的礼物吧。
     
       有时候想,人一辈子就是在不断的根据现实修正自己的想法,如果自己能够让这个修正的过程不那么痛苦,那就该是一个愉快的人生吧。所以慢慢的自己在尝试放弃、妥协和接受现实,虽然有时候还是会突然很计较某个事情,但是还是在改变。回忆以前的种种,才发现年轻不是因为年龄,而是当时曾经有的那些执着和想想。如果真的如此,那么真的哪个时代已经不再了,不是在昨天,而是在一直以来的每一天每一天中。   或许我们怀旧不是因为放不下以前的人或事,而是我们不愿意放下当时的自己。

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