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    December 05

    记忆

        记忆是个很会骗人的东西。往往,我会以为,舍不得的东西把他藏在记忆里就会永远在,只要我还愿意。可是突然发现,事情不是这么简单的。想留下的越来越模糊,一致看不清原来的面目,不想记住的总在某个不经意的时候跳出来,完全是重现,如此的清晰。遗忘也许是人自我保护的一种表现,忘记不愉快的,记住美好的,这样才有生活下去的动力和勇气,才有力气走下去。可是为什么那么多美好的东西会逐渐的不清晰?
        不过也有例外。还记得高中的时候,经常在傍晚的时候,坐在座位上,手托着下巴,透过窗户遥望那群小鸟,围着塔飞进飞出。塔这边的天是红色的,那边的天是灰色的。不明白它们为什么在那个时间会那样的高兴。那段时间比较轻松的记忆只有这个了,但是即使遇见那时的朋友也不会想起它,偶尔回忆时才会出现。也许是因为那样场景下的心情再当时是太难得了,而且是只属于自己的。
        我不是个喜新厌旧的人,其实更喜欢旧旧的东西。有时候也会一个人在黑暗中闭着眼睛,什么都想什么都不想,也回忆以前,但总有些遗憾再里面,也想象以后,可能现实永远不会是那样。但是没关系,心情好轻松,直至不知不觉中睡去。
        天气已经很冷了,冬天来了很久了。可是还有那么多的树叶在风中落下,地上竟然是厚厚的一层。阳光还很温暖。才发现,原来对暖阳和橙黄落叶的记忆只给了秋天!

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